Selfish

Tonight a friend on Facebook linked to this blog.  I looked at it with interest, thankful that the author also seems to veer away from things like IVF and other chemical treatments.  It is a site I will be going back to and hope to find some like-minded peers there.

As I perused some of the information on the site, I became somewhat overwhelmed.  Give up sugar, alcohol, caffeine, flour, shampoo, and have you ever considered that you might have Celiac Disease?  But, I LIKE sugar, shampoo, caffeine, flour, and on occasion, alcohol.  I don't want to give those things up!  A lot of people get pregnant while eating those things, and alcohol only seems to increase the odds! 

I felt like a spoiled brat thinking those things, because there are a lot of women out there right this second who are giving up things in the hope that they will become pregnant.  There are a lot of women out there right now who have given up those things because they are pregnant.  As well they should.

Now, I would like to have a baby, but I'm not sure what all I am willing to give up at this point to get there.  And that got me thinking: am I just being selfish?  If I were to get pregnant, I would give up caffeine, alcohol, and sugar, if needed, to keep that baby healthy.  But at this point, we're talking about a theoretical baby, one that does not exist.  So, am I selfish for not wanting to give things up to perhaps get to the theoretical baby being a real baby?  It is entirely possible that I am.  I have the utmost respect for women who give up so much for the chance at a child.

Now, one thing I have been thinking about and am trying to make small changes to work toward is a healthier lifestyle.  Not easy.  I struggle with food and exercise has never been my BFF, so you do the math.  But Andy Dufresne dug himself out of prison with a rock hammer, so I suppose small efforts do pay off in the end.  :-)

The caution here is a refrain I use often, but have a hard time following: "everything in moderation."  While being healthier is great, if we are putting all of our hope in healthiness bringing us a baby, we will be disappointed.  Sometimes the healthiest people do not conceive and sometimes the least healthiest do.  All of them are loved just the same by our Heavenly Father. 

It is a double-edged sword: it would be awful to get to the end of life thinking you avoided EVERYTHING that was bad for you and still didn't have a baby - think of all you missed out on.  On the other hand, it would be awful to get to the end of your life and wonder if you had made healthier choices if a baby would be yours - think of all you missed out on.